HEY! Are you tired of the same old military! Are you a high speed death machine trapped in a dochebags body! Then cut the BULLS**T, pick your ♥♥♥♥♥♥ off the ground and join 1st Virgina D company!!!! We will make you tough, soooo tough. So tough you will shave with a chain saw!!! Guns you will get to use them!!! Big guns, Small guns, Future guns, Old guns, Stupid guns!!! we will give skills, Rebel skills. Like ruck marching, mountain tossing, volley ball & death formations!!!!
You'll use death formations when you fight!!! Man will you fight! You'll fight federals, terrorist, darth maul, wemon, optimous prime, tyrannosaurous!!! REX!!! You'll shoot the s**t outta people!!! FEDERALS!!!!! You'll fight Federals!!!! You'll fight them underwater!!! You'll kick them in the face with your rebel legs until there ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!! You'll kick them so hard their clothes will fly off and you use it to make official federal underwear!!! You'll be one scary motherf***er!!! You'll scare Cats, Horses, Wemon, Babies, more Cats!!!!!
So scarey you'll make hell look like chucky cheeses!!! Join an elite league of warriors that includes master chief, jason borne, hitler, jesus, ceasar, chuck norris, all 4 james bonds!!! We didn't include the 5th on because he's not a REBEL!!!! But what about the federals???? F*** THE FEDERALS!!!! So if don't got what it takes join the lack luster pond scum federals!!! (Multiple Federals were killed in the making of this notice)!!!!!